Feeling Numb?

The Truth about Emotional Numbness

Many clients often report feeling numb. Emotional numbness can be a symptom of several different mental health disorders including, depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress, and depersonalization/derealization disorder.  However, this common sensation is often misunderstood and difficult to explain.  An individual may say, “I don’t know what I feel. I can’t feel anything.” 

Numbness can easily be mistaken for a lack of feelings, but in contrast, numbness often stems from an abundance of emotions.

For many people, stuffing down uncomfortable feelings becomes a way of managing day to day.  Sometimes there are too many things happening in a person’s life, and in order to cope, they may say, “I don’t have time to deal with this right now.” 

Or for others, they may think, “If I allow myself to cry or feel this, I may never come out of it.” I’ve had many people share their legitimate fears that once they allow the tears to come, they may never stop.

The tricky thing about emotions is they can only be “stuffed” for so long.  At some point, they scream out and want to be heard. This is often what brings a person to therapy.  The way an individual has been coping with challenges and difficulty is no longer working.  They may say something like, “I used to be able to deal with this, but I’m having a harder time now.”  Or, “I was able to push down feelings of sadness or anger, but now I don’t feel happiness either.”

Essentially, if we distract ourselves from experiencing sadness, then joy will also be muted.  Part of being human is living the full human experience which includes feeling sadness, fear, anger, disappointment, frustration, and vulnerability (just to name a few). 

A common phrase I hear from clients is, “I should feel excited about this, but instead I feel nothing.”  Other common descriptions of people experiencing numbness include:

·      Feeling disconnected from others

·      The inability to feel happiness

·      Feeling distracted

·      Feeling empty or alone 

Learning to identify and understand your feelings is an important part of treatment.  Working with an experienced therapist can help individuals to process emotions in a safe and supportive environment.

Another helpful thing that you can do today is use meditation to take a closer look at your internal experience. I recommend starting with this one from Mindful.org.

https://www.mindful.org/a-guided-meditation-to-label-difficult-emotions/

If you’re experiencing emotional numbness, contact me today for a free 15-minute consultation where we can discuss further and decide if therapy might help.

Finding a Therapist in Greenville, SC

Many people often wait too long before seeking counseling or therapy. Maybe you’ve tried to talk to friends and family. Or you tell yourself that you’re a self-sufficient, intelligent person and should be able to figure this out on your own. Maybe it feels too overwhelming to sift through therapist’s websites. Whatever the reason, finding the right therapist can make a significant difference when everything else you’ve tried leaves you feeling hopeless. Below are a few tips to get you started.

1. Start with Google. The more detailed you can be, the better. If you google “Therapist Greenville, SC” this is a broad search that may not provide the most relevant information. Therapists are trained to treat a variety of issues and many therapists have specializations. By googling some of the symptoms or keywords for what you are experiencing, more relevant therapists should appear. For example, “Therapy for Depression” or “Grief Counseling” (Therapy and Counseling are often used interchangeably).

2. Psychology Today is an excellent resource for finding a therapist. You can search by zip code and then filter down through the details that are of significance to you, such as, the issue you are seeking help for and types of therapy. Once you’ve made your selections, there will be a summary written by each therapist. If you connect to what they are saying, it’s worth visiting their website to learn more.

3. Get more information. Once you’ve narrowed down a list of 3-4 therapists, make use of any offers to have a free 15-minute phone consultation. This is a great time to get any questions answered and get a feel for the therapist’s personality. Ask about what they specialize in and their approach to therapy. It’s also good to think about some practical questions, such as, convenience of their location, and if they offer daytime or evening appointments. Therapists also tend to know other therapists. If someone is not the right fit for you, they may be able to point you in the right direction.

4. Ask around. Another great resource is asking friends and family if they know of someone. Many people report feeling hesitant to talk about therapy. There is no reason to suffer in silence. People come to therapy for many different reasons. When you open up to others about your experience, you may be surprised to find others feel the same.

One of the most important things to consider is making sure you feel comfortable with this person. Feeling safe and building a strong relationship with your therapist opens the door to healing and growth.

Feeling Stuck

What does feeling stuck actually mean? I hear this term commonly used by individuals describing feelings related to depression, but this sensation can be caused by a variety of issues. When I think of being stuck, I get this vision of being weighed down; unable to move forward or backward. No sense of direction and no motivation to get there. Feeling stuck can be miserable, if not, intolerable. First, let’s look at how this emotional response occurs.

Sometimes feeling stuck is caused by a decision that needs to be made, but feels too overwhelming. It’s exhausting just to think about it; for many people it’s easier to shut down.

Or maybe feeling stuck represents an actual problem that seems so massive you will never overcome it. You feel physically stuck. Pinned down by issues that feel out of your control.

For others feeling stuck involves a physical loss. Possibly a death of a loved one or a divorce has left you feeling so fearful and unsure of the future, that making decisions or moving forward in life does not feel possible.

Lastly, for some, there is a feeling of being stuck and having no idea why. For these individuals, they are often tortured by feelings of confusion and/or guilt. They may say, “I have a good job, I am in a great relationship, yet something doesn’t feel right. I should be happy and I’m not.”

So, what can you do? It is important to remember that feeling stuck can be a normal response to an overwhelming situation. Yet, that doesn’t make it any less uncomfortable. How do you begin to get some relief? Here are a few questions to get you started.

• Can you identify the problem or the stressor? Is it something within your power to change?

• What is working right now in your life? And on the flip side, what is not?

• Can you identify your strengths? And in that same manner, what are your weaknesses?

• Who do you count on for support? And again, who may be taking from you?

• When were you last feeling your best? What has changed?

One of the first steps in creating change is to gain awareness. Hopefully by thinking about some of these questions, you can look at your situation with a new perspective. Or at least get a clearer picture of what’s keeping you stuck.

If you would like to explore further, I am available for individual therapy. You can call me at 864-800-3197 for a free 15-minute phone consultation to hear more about my approach to therapy and how I can help. If I’m not the right therapist for you, I am happy to provide you with referrals or resources whenever possible.