Feeling Numb?

The Truth about Emotional Numbness

Many clients often report feeling numb. Emotional numbness can be a symptom of several different mental health disorders including, depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress, and depersonalization/derealization disorder.  However, this common sensation is often misunderstood and difficult to explain.  An individual may say, “I don’t know what I feel. I can’t feel anything.” 

Numbness can easily be mistaken for a lack of feelings, but in contrast, numbness often stems from an abundance of emotions.

For many people, stuffing down uncomfortable feelings becomes a way of managing day to day.  Sometimes there are too many things happening in a person’s life, and in order to cope, they may say, “I don’t have time to deal with this right now.” 

Or for others, they may think, “If I allow myself to cry or feel this, I may never come out of it.” I’ve had many people share their legitimate fears that once they allow the tears to come, they may never stop.

The tricky thing about emotions is they can only be “stuffed” for so long.  At some point, they scream out and want to be heard. This is often what brings a person to therapy.  The way an individual has been coping with challenges and difficulty is no longer working.  They may say something like, “I used to be able to deal with this, but I’m having a harder time now.”  Or, “I was able to push down feelings of sadness or anger, but now I don’t feel happiness either.”

Essentially, if we distract ourselves from experiencing sadness, then joy will also be muted.  Part of being human is living the full human experience which includes feeling sadness, fear, anger, disappointment, frustration, and vulnerability (just to name a few). 

A common phrase I hear from clients is, “I should feel excited about this, but instead I feel nothing.”  Other common descriptions of people experiencing numbness include:

·      Feeling disconnected from others

·      The inability to feel happiness

·      Feeling distracted

·      Feeling empty or alone 

Learning to identify and understand your feelings is an important part of treatment.  Working with an experienced therapist can help individuals to process emotions in a safe and supportive environment.

Another helpful thing that you can do today is use meditation to take a closer look at your internal experience. I recommend starting with this one from Mindful.org.

https://www.mindful.org/a-guided-meditation-to-label-difficult-emotions/

If you’re experiencing emotional numbness, contact me today for a free 15-minute consultation where we can discuss further and decide if therapy might help.

Feeling Stuck

What does feeling stuck actually mean? I hear this term commonly used by individuals describing feelings related to depression, but this sensation can be caused by a variety of issues. When I think of being stuck, I get this vision of being weighed down; unable to move forward or backward. No sense of direction and no motivation to get there. Feeling stuck can be miserable, if not, intolerable. First, let’s look at how this emotional response occurs.

Sometimes feeling stuck is caused by a decision that needs to be made, but feels too overwhelming. It’s exhausting just to think about it; for many people it’s easier to shut down.

Or maybe feeling stuck represents an actual problem that seems so massive you will never overcome it. You feel physically stuck. Pinned down by issues that feel out of your control.

For others feeling stuck involves a physical loss. Possibly a death of a loved one or a divorce has left you feeling so fearful and unsure of the future, that making decisions or moving forward in life does not feel possible.

Lastly, for some, there is a feeling of being stuck and having no idea why. For these individuals, they are often tortured by feelings of confusion and/or guilt. They may say, “I have a good job, I am in a great relationship, yet something doesn’t feel right. I should be happy and I’m not.”

So, what can you do? It is important to remember that feeling stuck can be a normal response to an overwhelming situation. Yet, that doesn’t make it any less uncomfortable. How do you begin to get some relief? Here are a few questions to get you started.

• Can you identify the problem or the stressor? Is it something within your power to change?

• What is working right now in your life? And on the flip side, what is not?

• Can you identify your strengths? And in that same manner, what are your weaknesses?

• Who do you count on for support? And again, who may be taking from you?

• When were you last feeling your best? What has changed?

One of the first steps in creating change is to gain awareness. Hopefully by thinking about some of these questions, you can look at your situation with a new perspective. Or at least get a clearer picture of what’s keeping you stuck.

If you would like to explore further, I am available for individual therapy. You can call me at 864-800-3197 for a free 15-minute phone consultation to hear more about my approach to therapy and how I can help. If I’m not the right therapist for you, I am happy to provide you with referrals or resources whenever possible.